my one and only sports related post.

Hey! Check it out, hockey is actually happening this year. Being the girl who loves all the teams that everyone else loves to hate, all I have to say about his is....go Redwings! You can find all the important hockey news here. You can tell me how much my team sucks down below in the comments section, but I won't be paying attention...

So this is Christmas
Larry Brown is here
Our team's gonna play defense!
And learn how to share!

No more 1 on 4 breaks
Even J-Craw may play smart
Starbury might stop proclaiming
That he's the best ever guard!

Have a holly July Christmas
And Chanukah cheer
Until hip replacement Larry
Gets bored with life here

So we have Larry Brown, and the Knicks can't suck so hard anymore. I'm not in love with the man; he reminds me of the kind of guy who complains that New York has changed so much, and he missed it from when it was tough and gritty and there was stickball in the streets and old Jewish men sold you low-priced underwear on Orchard Street before they tore it down to build a yuppster supermarket/ grilled cheese/ t-short shop (okay, I feel the same way). Speaking of run on sentences, here is the requisite Mike Lupica ramble, which will look like:

[insert name] has been the greatest and will be the greatest since the greatest &c. [insert dumbed down language], [make reference to stadium boondoggles], [mention the yankees and whose town is this], [add run on sentences to connote a wandering past], [mention how much so and so loves New York/ the team + why they are a classic player/ coach with a link to the glorious golden cream-filled past], [insert simplistic, unenlightening doubts]. finish.

But... what's Larry going to do? Who is he going to play? The vets on the team are.... curious at best. Does Jerome James listen when a contract isn't dangling in front of his face?Does Starbury ever listen to anyone? Does J-Craw have an evil DJ in his head that is stuck on scratching the word "shoot shoot" from Nas' Made You Look? Will Q look longingly at Brandy in the stands?

Will David Lee/ Channing Frye/ Nate Robinson/ Trevor Ariza get off the bench? Will Mike Sweetney still have that extra twinkie look? Will Tim Thomas be considered a "veteran presence," with history of consistent mediocrity that borders on suckitude?

At least we have a soap opera to watch. Well, for you guys. I'll be watching the Nets.

My thoughts are with you, Matty C.

Tonight, Matt Clement took a hit off the side of his head and left the game on a stretcher. All post game reports say that x-rays and MRIs are coming back negative. We will hear more tomorrow.

In 1998, I saw former Red Sox pitcher Bryce Florie take a line drive in the face of the bat of then Yankee Ryan Thompson.

While I was not in the stands that night, my friend Jason was. He has on many occasions told me, in vivid detail, the sound the baseball smacking off Florie's face. Florie didn't have more than half a second to react - not enough time to drop out of the way. The baseball shattered his eye socket in three parts.

One year later, he tried to return and was never able to pitch right again. Mostly because he was not comfortable on the mound (and I can't blame him.)


Matt Clement is one of my favorite pitchers. Not because he is with the Sox, but from back when he was with the Cubs. I always felt he was underrated because he didn't get the proper run support in Chicago. This year, he is having his much deserved All-Star year.


My thoughts are with you, Matty C. Not for recovery so much as I expect you to be ok, but I just hope you will have no problems coming back home to the mound. I will be wearing your #30 with pride tomorrow.

Ahh, what goes around the horn, comes around the horn.

A quick post sent in from the Alanis Morrisette Department of Irony, as it was mentioned to me (and I am looking for a link to back this up) that the cameraman who was attacked by Texas Rangers' Pitcher Kenny Rogers a few weeks back is currently being looked at by doctors for a possible rotator cuff injury.

Hmm, let me get this straight, a non-pitcher might have developed a pitching injury which was actually caused by a pitcher. Whoa!

Ah, rumor season. Isiah is cussin his way through denying a Starbury trade. With other people, you take the anger at face value, a measure of how the GM will not trade Starbury. But Isiah is not known for his honesty, so I’ll assume these trades were talked about. Plus, there is a logjam at the guard positions: Nate Robinson (20pts/ 4assts last night); J-Crawf/ Q “Mr. Brandy” Rich.



Happy trails Brian “Veal” Scalabrine, who get an average of $3 million/ year to play for the green of the Celtics. They seem to know what they’re doing… but Veal can’t maintain his performance game-to-game. Maybe they have basketball Viagra. You know, so he can keep up his performance. But at least they will have a guaranteed floor-burn guy. Good luck.



Veal says "what? I'm a great player, you'll see!" (Thanks to JoeNetsFan)

I thought those dirty bastards who control the Shea Stadium scoreboard were lying, but no- New York to San Diego isn’t 3,000 miles, it’s 2,432. that’s nothing! I’m driving out next week. Apparently, San Fran is farther, clocking 2582. who knew?

And on to NYC sports.

KNICKS.

The Knicks draft was pretty good. No NBDL-bound high schoolers or Euro players to lounge on the end of the bench, checking their hair. Though I miss that 7 foot 6 guy who couldn’t run very well. Nate Robinson will be a human highlight reel.

Do you remember the commercial from about 5-7 years ago, where Kevin Garnett/ Gary Payton et al were the fun police? I believe there was one where Payton finds a kid hoarding balls in his closet; Gary admonishes him to make passes.

Nate Robinson will be the fun police. Starbury/ J-Crawf (Jamal Crawford)/ and Q (Quinton Richardson a/k/a Mr. Brandy) will hold the ball like it’s their mama and the bully up the block just tried to take their lunch money. Enter Nate Robinson to make this squad distribute the rock. It’s gonna be fun.

NETS.

But not fun enough to make me watch the New York Bricks. I turn my eyes to the swamps of Dirty Jersey, where Lawrence Frank is making like a college recruiter and going after Shareef Abdur-Rahim. With an actual power forward who isn’t simply taking up space as Jason Collins so ably does, the Nets may be contenders again.

Well… contenders once they address the defense and the Carter/ Jefferson issue. The defense was check 29th in the league last year, and that won’t even win in the NBDL. Part of the problem is that the Nets’ defensive schemes were set up for Kerry Kittles to switch with Kidd and play either pressure/ on-the-ball defense or to chase the annoying shooting guards of the league (Miller, Hamilton) around. Vinsanity is not as willing and won’t hustle as much.

Not that he is as bad as people make his defense out to be; but Kittles was a singularly selfless player with long arms and unparalleled quickness. Plus he made J-Kidd look good. Jefferson will be the small forward because he’s better at it, more versatile on defense. But they need a guard to do the defensive dirty work. An aside— here’s hoping the Keyon Dooling is brought into the fold for just that purpose.

Then Carter and Jefferson play the same position. Jefferson is a little more inside/ out. And Carter is a little more outside in (and is always willing to hoist a three-pointer). Obviously—a problem. That they will work out in time and in practice.