smooth move, jaguars fan. your tongue skills get all the ladies... something. from last night's jaguars vs. colts game.

this weekend in sports

This weekend in sports:

- The Jets sucked incredibly, giving up a 20-10 halftime lead against the defensively moronic Cincinnati Bungles, who are reverting to mid-90's inept form, though this time with an adequate offense vs an adequate defense. Someone replaced Chad Pennington's arm with a working NFL model, as he threw a ball 40 something yards in the air. But of course the offensive and defensive lines stunk, with some no name RB ripping through the Jets.

- The Giants got reacquainted with Trent Dilfer, a man they repeatedly clowned when he was with Tampa Bay (he, of course, got them back with the Superbowl victory featuring Jason Sehorn chasing Brandon Stokely with his pants falling down). The Giants took care of business.

- Reasons I hate fantasy football: all of a sudden Kevin Jones starts for the Lions and pass-happy Mike Martz gets all ball control and won't call pass plays (to Roy Williams)? Martz, I hate you more each day. Roy Williams makes my team not suck until Larry Johnson and Ronnie Brown start having dominating games.

- Florida vs Kentucky football game was incredible and Tim Tebow is as great as the Florida fans think he is. Well, he is not as great as the myth of Chuck Norris, but an excellent QB nonetheless.

- Those crazy Red Sox brought back Millar (who threw out a presidentially wussy first pitch) and then proceeded to wear down the Indians until beating o'clock, which was about 11 pm eastern. World Series game 1 vs the Rockies, coming up. Could there be colder weather than Detroit 2006? Denver folks keep telling me the city receives 300 days of sun. And the city's team has God on their side... maybe that is intended to distract Him from Monfort slaughterhouses? He is All-Seeing, Colorado, remember that. If the Rockies lose to those heathen Why Panic Who Cares Red Sox, it could be the end of the world or something!

- Philadelphia is filled with unattractive folk. Also least stylish, least active, and least worldly. If it were anywhere else I would question the methodology but...
come on, it's PHILLY.

"We were asking people to vote on attractiveness, not unattractiveness. Travel & Leisure editors believe there are a lot of attractive people in Philadelphia," she said.

"The relative attractiveness of its residents is only a minuscule factor in evaluating a city's merit."

Philadelphians' self-esteem has been undermined by national surveys showing they are among the fattest people in the United States. The American Obesity Association ranked the city in the top 10 for overweight people every year between 2000 and 2005.

And sporting pride in a city known for the fierce loyalty of its fans has been hurt by not having had a national champion in any of its four main sports since the 76ers won the National Basketball Association title in 1983.

- John Elway's son is going to play football at Arizona State.

- WHEN DO THE COLLEGE BASKETBALL GAMES START? grr.

it's almost basketball season. do you have... the funk?

It's just not that serious, but I will post it anyway. Thanks to Eben for forwarding the Conan video of Mr Met trying to commit suicide, only to be offed by the Phillie Phanatic. Once again, it's NOT THAT SERIOUS.



And since it came up last week, the Rockies are obviously God's team. Go Rocks, kick that heathen dirty Philadelphia in their five remaining teeth!