AFC East

Last year, I watched a couple of playoff games in my one Jets jersey. They’re one of my favorite teams and the hometown squad. I followed the Rams back in St.Louis, back when they sucked, so I feel as much kinship to them. But the Jets are my hometown team. And my one football jersey is of Vinny Testeverde, QB, #16, for the j-e-t-s Jets Jets Jets—and that jersey has suddenly become relevant.

Aw, crap.

I was so happy not to have watched the debacle against the Actionville Jaguars, preferring to loll in the sun and sand of Southen California and watch the Giants get torn the proverbial new one. I was also happy to see the Patriots again struggle—maybe the Jets can still take them when the offense is in order, right?

But I didn’t know that Chad got his old one torn. His old one—the famed rotator cuff that we honestly hope has been contributing to the mediocre at best play and the limp-armed throws—has torn again. Leaving Jets fans to cheer on Wisconsin’s Brooks Bolliniger and then a 41 year slow Vinny from Elmont.

I wish I could pepper this post with flecks of homerist optimism, but honestly, the AFC has teams. And the Bengals are going to take the Jets’ upstart spot in the playoffs. Let’s get to know Chad Johnson’s gold fronts and TJ Houshmanzadeh’s pigtails, the various color schemes of orange and black that football fans used to laugh at and now associate with crisp passing and Carson Palmer. Let’s fall in love with Marvin Lewis, a less charismatic man than Herman Edwards, but effective nonetheless with his grimaces and hearty pats to his boys' backsides.

Meanwhile, Jets fans can think about the running backs and offensive linemen available in next year’s draft. Or maybe even Matt Leinart, though I believe Chad’s shoulder will be fine. Hey- I may not be a doctor, but I play one writing this blog.


And enjoy Brooks Bollinger! The kid has a solid, live arm! If Vinny doesn’t get smacked around like a tetherball then he’ll make some beautiful deep throws! Plus, those Vinny Testeverde jerseys look great coming out of the closet, picked up in Filene’s Basement, pulled out of the depths of the hamper!

See? There ARE reasons to hope. And Patriots fans can start singing Starship, because nothing’s gonna stop them, nothing’s gonna stop them now.

Except for the Chargers. Or the Colts’defense. Or...the BENGALS.