Say It Ain't So, Theo!!

Breaking News: Theo Epstein steps down as the Boston Red Sox GM. I don't have much to say on this yet. I will post this now.


The story was broken in the Boston Hearld:

All signs point to Lucchino being the problem. As stated in the Hearld article:

Epstein had come close to agreeing to a deal Saturday evening but had not officially conveyed acceptance of it. On Sunday, he began having serious misgivings about staying on. A leading contributing factor, according to sources close to the situation, was a column in Sunday’s Boston Globe in which too much inside information about the relationship between Epstein and his mentor, team president and CEO Larry Lucchino, was revealed -- in a manner slanted too much in Lucchino’s favor. Epstein, according to these sources, had several reasons to believe Lucchino was a primary source behind the column and came to the realization that if this information were leaked hours before Epstein was going to agree to a new long-term deal, it signaled excessive bad faith between him and Lucchino.

Theo is loved in Boston. Lucchino should feel luckly that all the cement in the BIG DIG has been poured. There are a lot of...you know...passionate fans there.

Theo, you will be missed!

Postnote: take the year Theo. Then we will give you the prime of your life when you take over the Nationals for us! Nice salary, private plane, and all the submarine pitchers you can sign. Plus, as an added perk, we will ship in fresh girls from Univ. of Virginia for your disposal. Forget Georgetown, GWU or American, UVA is the filet of college trim. Ahh, UVA, we put the Virgin in Virginia! (sorry, but I had to...)

I should, as an unabashed homer, talk about the Giants’ signature win (36-0) over the stinky-poo Washington Indigenous Peoples, where “stymied” was the name of the ‘Skins’ game.



But it’s more fun to talk about the Cincinnati Bengals—the “Who-dey” team rocketing towards the playoffs in the AFC. This weekend’s win over the Packers is not notable only for Brett Farve’s 5 interception performance, but for Brett’s almost-comeback.

After a 48-yard interference penalty on the Bengals (fans must have been thinking of Montana’s 1989 Superbowl comeback with Esiason on the sideline just waiting to film his “I’m going to Disneyworld” promotional), the Bengals were just waiting for the tying touchdown and resulting overtime. Less than a minute left, the grizzled veteran Farve from Kiln, MS, was ready to throw another highlight reel pass. The Bengals had to take the ball out of Brett Farve’s hands. But the defensive line was tired, the defensive backs even more so.

One fan would not let them go down like that.

Yea, from the stands, like a tubby bolt of lightning, a savior named Gregory Gall stripped the ball from Farve’s hands and ran from
security. 31 years of football, drinking, and good old American fat led Gall to this moment, where he slipped in from the stands to support his boys. Because this was not going to be one more of those “not again” periods where the Bengals manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Displaying a surprising elusiveness for his size, and a moxie only found at the bottom of Styrofoam beer cups, he gave the Bengals’ defense a well-deserved rest. Security caught him, of course, but after the stoppage, Farve was sacked and dispatched, 28 yards from the tie.

“The Bengals said he jumped from the stands onto a cart parked beside the 9-foot wall behind Green Bay's bench, on the east side of Paul Brown Stadium.
“Asked if the intrusion broke his team's concentration, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said, "I think it broke theirs. That's good. We'll slip him $20 later.’”

If that’s not the greatest fan, who is?? That man needs playoff tickets. I mean, look at the inertia on that man!

the female perspective.

Earlier this week, Pico asked me to write up an ACC preview. Here's what I came up with:

"Basketball starts soon. I'm going to the duke v. georgetown game in january. Duke will win. All my favorite players graduate this year!! They're all captains, too! FOUR of them! Hey, I wonder who those new tall freshmen are. Josh McWho? And that other guy with two first names? Oh yeah, and I guess the other ACC teams are pretty good, too. okay, bye."

For some crazy reason, he didn't like that too much, so mjunior and I will post a real ACC preview for y'all later on sometime, when we're both less busy at work.

So I still have hardly watched any of the World Series… there is no point, now. The White Sox are rolling, 3 games to none, on the power of end of game heroics and pitchers who are obviously using some performance-enhancing white stuff to get by the Houston Assholes.

Meanwhile, the NL Central wild card entry complains about having to keep the roof open. I know it’s cold, but that’s no excuse to blame your cold bats on the weather, Manager Scrap Iron Garner.

To wit: Roger Clemens has been smoking everyone in the National League like venison jerky. And his team? 3.76 runs per game all year. It’s amazing that they won so many games. How is Clemens going to have a 1.76 ERA and only win 13 games? And lose 8? Good lord, come on - that’s almost impossible with major league hitters.

I'll give the team some credit. At least the Astros are backed by great music.

Conclusion: There are some minor league hitters on the Astros. And this series is very over. Thanks for playing. Yaaaawn. I’m prepping my College basketball and Pro Basketball previews. And buying my Halloween costume. And working on my NaNoWriMo story.

We are so lonely without the Red Sox. I hear the World Series is dramatic and exciting, and I can’t get the energy to turn on the television. Even last night’s dramatic Giants win was blech. And no more college football after MJunior and I spent the most stressful college basketball day together a week ago—our girls were cranky, our service was non-existent, and we watch the two crazy games, Penn State vs. Michigan, and Notre Dame vs. USC.

I am hibernating until basketball season. There will be some previews to come.

on the radio.

I missed the first installment of Coach K Radio yesterday b/c I was sleeping, but knowing Coach K and how inspirational/funny/drunk he can be (long story), I'm sure it was great. I've seen the man speak a handful of times and he has some personality! Hey kids, this is one more reason why you should all join in the fun and buy an XM Radio - I love and adore mine. Plus -- they cover MLB, ACC sports (woohoo!), and the NHL. Yes, hockey still exists, and yes, my Red Wings still rock!

p.s. Let's buy the Nats! Join in mjunior's fundraiser below.

Help us buy the Washington Nationals!!

Join our “Put Your Money Where Our Mouth Is Campaign!”

Before the 2003 season, MLB took over control of the then Montreal Expos with the plan to move them to a new city and sell them to a proper owner.

This season marked the return of baseball to the Nation's Capitol as MLB took the first step in their plan by moving the team to Washington D.C. Now, the team is up for bid.

I have always said, baseball fans, not investors, should own baseball teams. Therefore, there are no better candidates for ownership than a couple of loud-mouthed opinionated, fantasy-playing, baseball bloggin’ fans like us to own America’s team. However, we are a little short on cash.

Here’s where you can help:

Please donate to our cause. I estimate that if we can raise 500 million dollars, we will win the bidding. Granted, that is overpaying for this team, but as long as we are not doing with loans or equity on stock options (otherwise racking up serious debt,) who cares? It is worth it!

We can’t promise that we know what we are doing, but we will promise three things:

1. We will always put together a competitive team.
2. Cheap seats will always be cheap seats!
3. We will continue to blog in order to keep a connection with the fan base, always providing a voice for them. What good is a team without a fan base (right Tampa?)

Please review our many tiers of donations:

$5 – Bleacher Creatures: With every $5 dollar donation, you will receive a coupon for a free beer at any home game in the new stadium.

$100 – Box Seat level: A $100 dollar donation will receive a “Peter Angelos hates your freedom!” t-shirt, in traditional Black with Orange lettering.

$1000 – American Patriot Level: With every $1000 dollar donation, one of us will pick a Montreal resident at random and mail them a photocopy of our middle fingers.

$100,000 – Strike em' out, Throw em' out Level: With a donation of $100,000, your teenage daughter will be in safe hands, as she will have the chance to be accompanied to her Prom by Nats Catcher Brian Schneider. Don’t worry, Dads! He stops anyone from stealing second base!

$500,000 – American Dream Level: With a donation of $500,000, you will have the chance to live out your dream and prove yourself as you will be signed to a one-year contract with the Single A Savannah Sand Gnats.

$1,000,000 - Senatorial Bribery Level: With a $1,000,000 donation, you will attend the next Senate Committee Hearing on Steroids in Baseball as Philadelphia Phillies Hall of Famer Sen. Jim Bunting's (R-KY) personal guest.

$10,000,000 – Lobbyist Level: With a $10 million dollar donation, you will have the opportunity to sign a free agent of your choice for the next season (subject to approval, naturally.)

So, please join! For the love of the Great American Pastime - put baseball back into the right hands, that of the fun and obnoxious fan!! Please help quickly because we are running out of time!

Takin' you out to the ball game,
- Your Friends at 'Athletes In Action'



Disclaimer: It is possible we either don’t raise enough in time to produce the winning bid, or enough overage to grease necessary MLB pockets to be taken seriously. Either case (or any others) donations will not be returned. If we are not awarded the team though the bidding process, we will use the collected funds to take care of some left over student loans we have kicking about, maybe put a down payment on a condo to have an office so we can blog all day, and then set up a fund to build state-of-the-art little league fields for needy neighborhoods. Ok, maybe we would buy a minor league team for fun. Also, no donation awards will be granted (obviously) if we are not awarded ownership of the Washington Nationals Baseball Club.

Sheffield and Bubba Crosby play grabass mid-inning.




And let me be the first to say A-Fraud just might be a PLAYOFF CHOKE ARTIST. If it sounds like I’m piling on, I have no shame. Of course I am!

So long 2005 Boston Red Sox

We hardly knew ya!

Who knew the 2005 Boston Red Sox, who spent 65 days in first place of the AL East this season, would be the first to be eliminated on the playoffs. Who knew they would be bounced before the Padres! Well, that is what you get when you have bases loaded, nobody out in a one run game and can't manage to get one sac fly. So, come on in the party boys! There are enough Minnesota Twins to go around!


Mmm, mmmhm! The humble pie is damn tasty with a hangover!

Another regular season in the books

Some interesting thoughts since I am bored and waiting for the playoffs:

When in doubt, read the big green cue card: The Red Sox and Yankees ended the season in a tie, however New York wins the division (because they won the season series 10-9) even though when teams tie in the standings are listed in alphabetical order. (photo: boston.com, Fenway Park after the season finale 10-1 victory over the Yanks.)

Tired Arm or Throwing BP?: Despite being the leading candidate for the NL Cy Young Award, Cardinal ace Chris Carpenter has given up 18 earned runs in 15.1 innings in his last 3 starts. In fact, his ERA over his last 4 starts is 9.14.

Explains why Pico is such a literary guy...who knew St. Louis loves the word play: Speaking of Cardinal pitching, what is it with the Cardinals starting pitchers and alliteration? Chris Carpenter, Matt Morris, and Mark Mulder. In fact, Mark Mulder was the new addtion to this alliterary group replacing the departed Woody Williams...literally.

Let's have a Division Exchange program: In the race to the finish, the powerhouse Padres of San Diego played .600 ball over their last 10 games, going 6-4 to bring their final record to 82-80 - 2 games over .500. (and there was much rejoicing....yeaaaaaah!), Naturally, they were the only team in the NL West to do that.

Since I know we were ALL scoring at home, those 2 games were pivital in beating the NL East basement dwelling D.C Nationals of Washington, who continuing their downward spiral fell to second place...in the NL West (The Padres would have been 4th in the NL East, by the way.)

Naturally, it is the manager's fault: Marlins Jack McKean (Resigned-but not retired) who won a WS in 2003; L.A. Dodgers’ Jim Tracy (fired), who won the NL West in 2004; Detroit’s Alan Trammell (fired), who never had all the parts, but made a good run.

Seeking a Manager with Experience: Lou Pinella is rumored as the top choice to take over Jack McKean’s Florida Marlin team. Interesting because, McKean left do to a conflict with his hard ass coaching style and a wussy team. Yeah, Lou will whip them into shape. Meanwhile, the Tigers will be interviewing former Marlins’ skipper Jim Leyland.

Frankly, I am Ozstruck: Ozzie Guillen showed his class and sophistication on Sunday. As his White Sox were on the verge of sweeping the Cleveland Indians, effectively knocking them from the playoffs, the Blizzard of Oz (thanks Jay Mariotti) put his hands to his throat signaling a choke sign to the Indians’ mascot at Jacob’s Field. Careful Ozzie, Trot Nixon is looking for a reason to get into fight.

Today’s article by Chicago Sun Times columnist Jay Mariotti gave no praise to the hometown skipper saying,

"While I'm at it, let me tell Ozzie Guillen that he did his Wacky Uncle image no favors when he became the first major-league manager in known history to flash a double-fisted choke sign at a mascot -- Slider, employed by the Indians -- and the Jacobs Field fans during a pitching change Sunday. When the Blizzard of Oz wonders why he's not treated like Bobby Cox and Tony La Russa, he should examine the photo and ask if those gentlemen ever would stoop to taunting some poor mope in a suit whose team has just finished fading like, well, Craig Ehlo trying to guard You Know Who."

Let me say, how much fun it will be to see David "Big Papi" Ortiz step into the box against, old foe and former Yankee sluggie Jose Can'treas! I really like most of the White Sox team (Posednick, Rowand), but with guys like Ozzie and Hawk Harrelson, it is hard to route for them.

While Jay Mariotti is columnist for the Chicago Sun Times, he can also be seen on ESPN's "Around The Horn" Oh boy!

And finally...from the Theo Epstein must resign Johnny Damon Dept:

Gotta love the guy keeping a breast of the AL playoff race.

With thanks to Johnny Damon for adding to the true rivalry...battling Derek Jeter in the best home field trim dept. Theo, please resign him....for THE REST OF US!

(BTW-please feel free to leave your predictions and other notes in the comments!! I would love to hear what others think -mjr)

How do you spell “Choke” ??

B-R-A-V-E-S!!

For the National League divisional series’ all the ESPN baseball pundits predicted the Houston Astros to beat the Atlanta Braves, except for Alan Schwartz, despite the fact that the Braves won their 14th consecutive division title – during the most competitive season the NL East has seen in ages. I guess the fact that the Braves have won only one title in 5 tries during that time does not say much for them in the playoffs.

Meanwhile, the same pundits predict Cardinals to move on, except a brave Buster Olney. However, only Peter Gammons predicted the Padres would force a 5th game.

Strangely, they split down the middle over whether the AL would win over the NL (8/15) despite the AL’s home field advantage. However, out of those 8 to pick an AL team only two picked either the Red Sox (Eric Karabell) or the Yankees (Alan Schwartz). And, no one picked Ozzie Guillen’s Chokable White Sox. (see above)

I’ve been all quiet, and on the Western front of the United States. I already miss the California sun, I have no idea what time it is here on the East Coast. I haven’t slept since yesterday despite the going away beers and the red-eye flight. But here is a quick recap of what I learned:

- After traveling to San Diego to see the Giants’ debacle against the Chargers, I realized that the Giants really could learn how to get in a runner’s way and maybe hit him. It’s a new concept in football called tackling. The old school kids loved it. Totally retro. They sell tackling at Mitchell and Ness. How 'bout y'all try it too?

- New Yorkers travel well. In San Diego, there were more Shockey and Manning and Barber jerseys on the San Diego street. Walked into a bar called Dick's and my friend's anti-Yankee shirt, real women don't date Yankee fans, drew some hollers, a little ire, and then they sent us blow job shots.
- While California people like bicycling, they don’t like moving at New York speed. Some of them even look at you funny when you blow by them.
- Greatest thing about the Pacific time zone: as a person who can’t sleep past 10 AM, when you get drunk and pass out in a stranger’s suburban home, you can wake up and reheat pizza and watch football right when you awaken, instead of “reading the paper” or some intellectual garbage like that.

And some college football notes:
- Dear Ranked teams: STOP LOSING. It’s confusing me to death. Is Minnesota good? Should Illinois be ranked? Oklahoma, are you about to get Red River dunked? Is it Purdue or Pur-Don’t? Alabama, have you resurrected Joe Willie Namath?
- Go Penn State. I’m impressed.
- USC’s game is the one I watched. In a Chili’s in a strip mall in the San Fernando Valley. I kept telling people that the Trojans just like to take their shots, and then, there’s a period in the second or third quarter, where they just put it on their opponents. I left right before the first rushing touchdown of the second half, where LenDale White (or was it Bush?) was called for excessive celebration. The Trojans really do have to start kicking their opponents in the teeth from the first quarter. That way, Bush and Leinart can practice their Heisman poses.
- Plus… are the Irish really for real? We're going to have bowl games where all the ticketholders wear green tam-o-shanters?

post-script: i think the man below put on his make-up before his champagne shower. WHO DOES THAT?

Saturdays are the Greatest Days

Conference play FINALLY got started yesterday in the Big XII, with the Horns and Vince Young beating Young-lite and Missouri convincingly. Oklahoma looked pretty good in their win over Kansas State. Once again, this sets up a week of trash-talking, nail-biting and overall panic (and that's just from me) before next Saturday's Red River Shootout Rivalry. Personally, I see this as the only real test during conference play aside from rivals Texas A&M and Texas Tech.

In other games outside the Midwest, congrats to Arizona State for giving up 35 points in a half as well as the game to USC last night. (Also, congrats to my local ABC affiliate for showing an almost-meaningless Iowa St.-Nebraska game instead of USC-ASU. They must really know what the local sports fan wants to see...)

Seriously, what's up with Penn St. and Alabama? Could this be Old Man Coke-Bottle's last stand? Could this mean that the SEC isn't as good as everyone says? Does this mean I can stop asking questions now?

It is all moot if Cleveland wins.

With all the swirling of the Baseball playoff possibilities on the line today, outcomes are very confusing. So, here is a quick breakdown:

NY Yankees and the Boston Red Sox are tied for first place in the AL East.

With last night’s lost by the Cleveland Indians, they are both now one game ahead of Cleveland for the Wild Card.

So…if Cleveland loses today, they will be eliminated and both the Yankees and the Red Sox will make the playoffs. However, if the Yankees win, they will win the AL East because they will not need a playoff game and the regular season head-to-head record will come into play.

Here is a link to the full playoff scenarios compliments of SFGate.com.