I’ve been all quiet, and on the Western front of the United States. I already miss the California sun, I have no idea what time it is here on the East Coast. I haven’t slept since yesterday despite the going away beers and the red-eye flight. But here is a quick recap of what I learned:

- After traveling to San Diego to see the Giants’ debacle against the Chargers, I realized that the Giants really could learn how to get in a runner’s way and maybe hit him. It’s a new concept in football called tackling. The old school kids loved it. Totally retro. They sell tackling at Mitchell and Ness. How 'bout y'all try it too?

- New Yorkers travel well. In San Diego, there were more Shockey and Manning and Barber jerseys on the San Diego street. Walked into a bar called Dick's and my friend's anti-Yankee shirt, real women don't date Yankee fans, drew some hollers, a little ire, and then they sent us blow job shots.
- While California people like bicycling, they don’t like moving at New York speed. Some of them even look at you funny when you blow by them.
- Greatest thing about the Pacific time zone: as a person who can’t sleep past 10 AM, when you get drunk and pass out in a stranger’s suburban home, you can wake up and reheat pizza and watch football right when you awaken, instead of “reading the paper” or some intellectual garbage like that.

And some college football notes:
- Dear Ranked teams: STOP LOSING. It’s confusing me to death. Is Minnesota good? Should Illinois be ranked? Oklahoma, are you about to get Red River dunked? Is it Purdue or Pur-Don’t? Alabama, have you resurrected Joe Willie Namath?
- Go Penn State. I’m impressed.
- USC’s game is the one I watched. In a Chili’s in a strip mall in the San Fernando Valley. I kept telling people that the Trojans just like to take their shots, and then, there’s a period in the second or third quarter, where they just put it on their opponents. I left right before the first rushing touchdown of the second half, where LenDale White (or was it Bush?) was called for excessive celebration. The Trojans really do have to start kicking their opponents in the teeth from the first quarter. That way, Bush and Leinart can practice their Heisman poses.
- Plus… are the Irish really for real? We're going to have bowl games where all the ticketholders wear green tam-o-shanters?

post-script: i think the man below put on his make-up before his champagne shower. WHO DOES THAT?