football preview... nfc

nfc east is an asswhuppin'. but i don't think the cowboys are that great (drew bledsoe is like a passing machine-- the ball goes far and yet he doesn't move). The giants have high hopes, a solid offense, and a qb who didn't come to their playoff game. i love the eli, i have him on my fantasy team, but i'm just saying... and lavar arrington, if he's up for the job, should make the defense something to shit one's pants about. and the redskins are playing mark brunell and that's embarrassing. no matter what they say, no matter how great joe gibbs is, mark brunell touches the ball every play. he. will. break. the eagles have done it for years. do you know how? me neither. i pick the giants first (i'm a homer), cowtools 2nd, redskins 3rd, eagles 4th.

remember the nfc central is sad and maybe brett farve should be doing celebrity charity events. i think they will run the ball and look decent, and give up a lot of points on defense. brett is good for a 7 interception game and lots of retrospectives. the vikings are not so bad. but not so good. brad johnson should be doing celebrity charity events. i think they're have a shot to win that division. they don't suck and don't they have that hutchinson guy and the birk guy on the offensive line? everyone picks the bears to win the divsion and i say, "on what grounds?! rex effing grossman?" rex grossman. who went to florida. florida quarterbacks never win. rex grossman should be doing rock the vote events. he's a good looking fella... and the lions, they have Matt Millen, who should be doing charity eating events. then again, there is mike martz as offensive coordinator. oh, it's the nfc north? whatever. vikings 1st, bears 2nd, lions and packers, you guys mudwrestle for the 1st pick. my bet's on the packers. who are the good ass college quarterbacks again? with the first pick in the draft, the packers pick... brady quinn!

nfc south: michael vick is NOT that good. he's not. remember that. he hasn't mastered that whole passing thing. the carolina panthers are a damn good team, the saints' drew brees will see the superdome roof a lot, and tampa will surprise, even though chris simms will lose a game for them and win a game for them. it's a wash. so panthers 1st, trampa 2nd, hotlanta 3rd, and those hapless saints... the hapless saints.

nfc west... i don't believe in the seahawks but i think the other teams have some flaws. huge flaws. as in, they can't quite play football. the rams have the receivers and the running back, and bulger has some good games, but can he survive in a normal, balanced offense? and where's the defense? i keep expecting the cardinals to put a kicking on someone. and they never do. i do expect some improvement but edgerrin james will be picking up his gold teeth from that new field's retractable grass turf. never discount norvelous norv turner's offense in san francisco, but if that alex smith didn't scare every fan who likes the niners... i call park slope west seahawks 1st (a very very close call, not surprised if they don't win the division), the rams 2nd, the cactus cards 3rd (with cardiac games), and the niners will be mining for crisp, close losses.